|
Mar. 21, 2009: A simple explanation for the mortgage crisis
Rob Chrisman
The financial crisis explained in simple terms.......
Heidi is the proprietor of a bar in Berlin. In order to increase sales, she
decides to allow her loyal customers - most of whom are unemployed alcoholics -
to drink now but pay later. She keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger
(thereby granting the customers loans). Word gets around and as a result
increasing numbers of customers flood into Heidi's bar. Taking advantage
of her customers' freedom from immediate payment constraints, Heidi increases
her prices for wine and beer, the most-consumed beverages. Her sales volume
increases massively.
A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes
these customer debts as valuable future assets and increases Heidi's borrowing
limit. He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the
alcoholics as collateral. At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert
bankers transform these customer assets into DRINKBONDS, ALKBONDS and
PUKEBONDS. These securities are then traded on markets worldwide. No one really
understands what these abbreviations mean and how the securities are guaranteed.
Nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become
top-selling items.
One day, although the prices are still climbing, a risk manager (subsequently
of course fired due his negativity) of the bank decides that slowly the time
has come to demand payment of the debts incurred by the drinkers at Heidi's
bar. However they cannot pay back the debts. Heidi cannot fulfill her
loan obligations and claims bankruptcy. DRINKBOND and ALKBOND drop in
price by 95 %. PUKEBOND performs better, stabilizing in price after dropping by
80 %.
The suppliers of Heidi's bar, having granted her generous
payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with a new
situation. Her wine supplier claims bankruptcy, her beer supplier is taken over
by a competitor. The bank is saved by the Government following dramatic
round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political
parties. The funds required for this purpose are obtained by a tax levied
on the non-drinkers.
Finally an explanation I understand...
|